wednesday’s should stop feeling like thursday, (a year ago, and so forth).

last night during work, a wave of nostalgia greeted me with the evening light, the spring breeze, and the 

clear sky, and

I remembered a year ago,

a few days after my birthday, I went to NYC with my good friends, my closest friends,

TMNT we were, save the world we did.

That was the first few times I actually hung out in the city, (well excluding certain summers with Seth, where we saw random movies or went to the Siren Music Festival),

I remember watching Summer Wars at IFC

I just remember actually hanging out at Union Square, going into Max Brenner,

and I remember sipping that Mexican Spice Hot Chocolate, it was good, and I remember spotting those two lolita girls there, eating cakes, and it was the first time I saw lolitas outside of NYCC, and Seoul, so the day was a promising one,

That night, I caught a good show, that night (not only did Ryan get to be onstage, even though he was near-protest of the whole show in general), but that night was the first time I heard “UNME,” and I will never forget how I felt when I heard that song, because I honestly felt something blossom from within me, because.

it was the same exact feeling that after my screening, Elli hugged me and there was just so much promise for the future,

Yea, I did think of Elli last night, even though I don’t love her romantically at all, I just remember how it felt,

to have someone to go back to when I went back to finish that semester, we hung out a lot of the time, and UNME secretly became the song associated with her, 

Especially, that one time we just did nothing except go to walmart to buy a skateboard, because we had to get rid of my skateboard,

and I remember, those inside jokes we shared, and it was nice really,

to think of it, fondly, and not with so much heartbreak,

this is not to say I am not heartbroken, but this is to say,

thank you for the good times, all of them, everyone,

I also remember how I drove out to Horseshead with a friend I made last year, just for, (eating Taco Bell)

I remember when I saw Anamanaguchi for free and danced on stage with them,

I remember that everything-fucking-Milkshake, Seth got at Tom’s, and how delicious it was as a post-show Milkshake for that night at Webster,

I remember bumping into a good friend near those stairs, and Greg’s and Tochi’s girlfriends joking how I was going to steal their boyfriends,

I remember NYCC 09 (because I crashed at Seth’s dorm), NYCC 2010 (because I crashed at Steph’s father’s apartment in SoHo), and how much BETTER they were than NYCC 2011, (I mean, it was a weird year, because I remember it nearing, thinking, Why is like it not getting crammed with events? but there’s actually TOO MANY other reasons why NYCC 2011 was the best one for me, personally).

So I haven’t seen any exciting shows lately,

So I haven’t met any friends as much as I did over the course of last year,

So I haven’t been gaining followers, (mostly losing followers), as much as last year.

So not many people gave a fuck about my thesis film, as they did with my other film,

There’s still a future out there somewhere for me,

And I may have also lost a piece of myself somewhere in NYC, that I need to re-discover, 

And I will make new friends, and I will cherish the old times, and I will become successful with my arts, (FASTER than my Goddamn Professor, you said it took you 6 years? I’ll do it in fucking 2-3 MOTHERFUCKER)

So Spring Breeze re-invigorate me with LIFE,

I want to live.

I am trying so hard.

And in the end,

what was I doing a year ago? I was sitting in my cold room, waiting

wasting time, playing StarCraft II,

and I cannot wait,

for these LEGS of mine to wander about all those fucking Neighbourhoods in New York City,

because that’s that.

(Source: blacksound)